WHAT I LEARNED FROM A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT

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At the end of the day

 Today I want to share my experience with you all. Its about a great risk that I took and things were evenly slipping out of my hands. And when I thought that everything is over, and prepared to give up God gave me a push that I needed the most.

  I am talking about my decision to stay back a year after +2 to prepare for IIT-JEE. This does not actually look like a big risk but someone who has seen me, who knows me can very well realise the risk that I had taken. I was getting a seat in BITS Pilani in electrical and my parents were just pushing me to bag it. Their point was right as I realised later. They said that I can never read the same thing again with the same enthusiasm like I did the first time and so if I could not crack it this time then it will be really hard in the second attempt. But I was adamant on my decision. I took the leap of faith. But things did not go in my favour.

  The first strike of destiny came with the results of Jee Main; I had scored way less than what I had last year. But I assured myself that it was just a case of bad luck and that everything will go right in the next one and overall I have qualified for the Jee advanced. But all the entrances I appeared got really messed up and i ended up scoring less than before in each of them. The last one before Jee advanced was Bitsat and when that slipped out of hand I was totally broken. I lost all hope. If I could not crack these exams that were a cakewalk for me last time then how will I stand up against that devil which shattered me the last time. I lost my appetite, I lost my sleep, I lost my interest in anything. I had made up my mind that I am going to get a seat in one of those institutes that I rejected last time for IIT. The faces of all those people jumped in front of me, those people who had urged me so much not to take this step. I felt like they were mocking me, laughing at me, I felt a punch in my stomach.

  Yet deep inside I had this urge. Lets give it a try, one last final push to this broken car, one last surge of trial, one last call of despair. I gave my best, I restricted myself from every single activity that I previously thought I cannot live without. From the dusk to the mid night I slugged with my books in a final attempt to save my skin. But you cannot prepare for the most competitive entrance exam in a week, so I knew nothing much would come out of it.

  But at the end of the day some mystical force, some unknown blessing or may my salvation in the last few days saved me. I ended up with a modest rank in Jee and got a seat in one of the premiere colloeges of India.

  Friends I am not saying that I prepared for Jee in the last week and ended up where I am. I had prepared well for the first attempt but out of nervousness I could not do well. So the concepts were there at the back of my mind but I did not give it enough time, enough practice. What I did was I tried , no matter how unfruitful my attempts seemed.

  So I gained a very crucial lesson in my life, Never give up trying. Because if you try you may lose but if you don`t try you will sure lose, there is no exception to that. And at the end of the day that's what matters is whether you tried till the very last quanta of your energy was exhausted.

My Goal? Well That's an easy question...

Music is a form of art that everyone can understand. It is something that everyone loves and no one can ignore. Music is diverse in nature, defined differently in different parts of the world. But one thing is common everywhere, and that is, Music always brings out the emotions.

I just LOVE music. Music defines me better than anything else, if not the best. So, when I say that my goal is to become a world renowned musician, I am dead serious. What I want is to see people humming on the streets while listening to my songs with their earphones on.

When you see a guy studying CSE in IITR dreaming to become a musician, you can easily bet on the fact that something went horribly wrong in his decision making during high school years.

I started my journey to understand music at the age of 8, and my idol was my father. He is a great singer and has a god-gifted voice. So listening to his songs through my childhood years had a real impact on my understanding of music. I learned to play keyboard at the age of 14, and now I am learning the guitar, but throughout these years, vocals have always been the closest to my heart.

Talking about future, well I don’t have a specific plan. I wish to go with the flow, staying committed to music and keep learning as much as I can. Though I have always thought that I will just finish my graduation (somehow), get a decent job (somehow :P) and then pursue my real dream.

Right now, all I do is go to the music section of the college as much as I can, spend some time on the guitar and record a few songs in my mobile when I get bored in the hostel room.

I would like to conclude by saying that, I know I have a really far sighted dream and probably, some people might think it isn't possible for me to achieve it, but still I won’t let go off this dream, ever, because I know I can do it and that’s all that matters.

Risky: To be or not to be? That's the question.

There are three types of people in this world – Risk seekers, Risk averters and the neutral ones, I prefer the second one. Taking the safest path was always my thing. Everyone knows that higher the risk, greater is the return. But I used to believe in “higher the risk, greater is the fall.” I used to avoid all those risks and be satiated with whatever little it gave me back.

No one can run away from taking risks all their life, me not being an exception. A big decision came knocking on my door. Even if I was afraid, I had to answer the call. One year ago, I was in a situation where taking the risk was the best thing I have ever done in my life. I completed my high school with great marks, but the thing that mattered the most was clearing JEE-Advanced in which I failed miserably.

I had not studied as hard as it takes to make my way through JEE-Advanced and eventually I ‘succeeded in failing’. But I was able to excel in JEE-Main and other competitive exams. I knew I had the potential to pull-off JEE-Advanced. The dilemma before me was whether to join NIT as I was getting a good college, or to prepare for one more year and reappear for the exam. Somewhere in my heart I knew I couldn’t settle for anything less than an IIT. But the risk here was, if I went for NIT then there was no more of IIT in this life and if I waited for another year, what if the results were even worse and I couldn’t even convert a decent engineering college and along with this wasting one full year of my life.

At this point of my life, I decided to take a chance. I declined to join NIT and took the risk of taking the exam again next year. These 12 months were the scariest for me. I was always worried that what if all my hard work gets flushed down the gutter and this decision turns out to be the worst in my life. But my fear was futile, I worked hard and it fetched me great results. I finally landed at IIT Roorkee, one of the most prestigious institutions in India.

Today I know that if I had not taken that risk, I would have been regretting it all my life. The only thing I lost was a year and had to wait to experience the so called exciting college days.

This risk being a success changed something significant in me. I am not afraid to take risks anymore. I now believe that one can make a risk fruitful if worked hard. Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO & founder of Facebook and the inspiration for many once said – “The biggest risk is not taking any risk….In a world that change really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking any risks”.

I would just like to suggest the readers that there is no running away from risks. If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. The risk of a wrong decision is always preferable to the terror of indecision. Any goal worth achieving involves an element of risk no matter how much you try to avoid it.

Don’t listen to those who say “you are taking too big a chance”. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most importantly, don’t listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says, “They are smarter than you out there. They’re more talented, taller, prettier, luckier, and they have connections.” I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you’ll be a person worthy of your own respect as well as others’.

Guess who inspires me?

Let me keep this short and sweet, I know you have better things to do than just go on and on through a blog.

Inspiration! Well, inspiration can be deemed subjective. It varies from person to person, the type, the intensity and the genesis. The source of this potent property can be anything, ranging from men to objects, it could be a known personality or their own antecedent forefathers, a book or a motion picture. For me, the inspiration trickles from myself, colloquially known as, self inspiration.

How? Isn’t it obvious? Aren’t we all, at some level, self inspired? Inspiration only begins its useful work when our spirits are moved to thought and action. The self is the weak link between all things inspiring and inspired, thought and action. Blaming others for not inspiring us when we are not self inspired, externalises the problem. And we cannot inspire others if we are not inspired ourselves. To become self inspired, I have found it useful to build three reinforcing processes within me — evolving self, congruent self and courageous self.

Inspiring self is integral to the never-ending journey of becoming a better person. Without it, the inspiration we receive from others does us no good. I try to keep my eyes on the stars and my feet on the ground. The past cannot be changed. But the future is yet in my power. I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity or even pain. To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices, I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but to embrace it.

Let us do something that our future self will thank us for.

Risk: That changed my Life

It was 22nd March, 2013. I had just finished my 11th class school exams. Though they went superb, I was feeling very anxious and confused. Not enough time was left. I had to make a decision- a decision - on which my whole future was dependent. 

It started on December 25, my tuition teacher gave us a surprise (not a good one as one can guess from the context). He told us that he would not be teaching us from next year. In simple words he was going to leave the city and had joined an institute in Chandigarh. It was more than a shock I could withstand at that time. He was the best in the city (at least according to me). He was the one who created my interest in math and even today I owe a lot to him. OK, let’s come back to the context. Just after 1 month, the same announcement was made by our physics teacher.

I couldn’t think of being taught by any other teacher even in my wildest dreams. I cried a lot those days. I just could not understand what I would do next year.Then our physics teacher advised me to join the same institute (Chandigarh).

Then came the confusion. My father had been posted in Ambala for 3 years but we hadn’t shifted there and he used to come at weekends. Now, the decision was to be made. One choice was - the family would shift to Ambala (for me) and I will have to travel to Chandigarh daily for coaching which would cost me 3 hours daily. (There were no good institutes in Ambala and my father had simply discarded the idea of me living in a hostel at that time.) The other choice was very simple- I would have to study in the same city under some untrusted teachers. My father gave me the power (actually the tension) to make the decision.

I was very confused. Many people told me I would not be able to manage. The tiredness caused by 3 hour journey would not allow me to study and I will destroy my future instead of embracing it. There was one more fear inside my heart. What if I am unable to crack JEE? What if I get bad results in all the exams? All the efforts of my family would go in vain. Everyone would taunt my parents. What was the use of shifting for the girl? (Though I knew my parents would never think like that and would not mind listening such things for me but I personally didn’t want that.) Studying in the same city wouldn’t give me anything – I had this opinion. I tried hard to make up my mind for the new teachers but was unable to achieve it. Everything was messing up in my head.

Finally. I took the risk and on 22nd March I told my father that I want to go to Ambala.I went to Chandigarh everyday – up and down – back to Ambala with no less energy and enthusiasm to achieve my goal. And here I am, finally, in an IIT. So, there is no need of telling what I gained. In addition to getting into an IIT, I had a really great and new experience of studying in Chandigarh- the City Beautiful. I got to meet new 

people and discover myself more.

On the other hand, it made me loose many of my friends. I missed (actually miss) my sweet cousins and the love of relatives. I lost the joy of being together. I lost the happiness which I would have had if I were in my own city; the delight which would have got quadrupled had I been with my friends. But it doesn’t matter now since I have gained more than losing. 

At last I would just like to quote a few lines of Jim Rohn:

"If you are unwilling to risk the unusual,

you will have to settle for the ordinary."

REGRET : Just a term

If you knew that today was your last day on Earth what would you look back on and wish you could change? I strive to make my answer to that absolutely nothing because there isn’t anything I would regret more than living a life full of regrets, full of wishing I had done something differently. We should never regret our decisions, no matter how terrible life seems at the moment. Everything that happens in life makes us the exact person we are meant to be.

“You can’t change who people are, without destroying who they were.”

This is a quote from one of my favorite movies, 'The Butterfly Effect'. In the movie, the main character goes back in time to change events he thinks could have had a better outcome. In the end he realizes that these things had to happen for the future to be perfect, just the way it was.

Knowing this we need to figure out one thing; how can we live life with no regrets? It seems to be an impossible task in a world that will coldly turn its back on you at any given moment. Take them and mold them to create a positive outcome. They are like the anchors of our lives. You can either let them drown you or you can use them to hold you down, keep you steady.

A short time ago I did something that I thought I would regret for the rest of my life. I ended relationships with friends I had known for over 10 years. I would sit around upset, knowing they were off having fun without me. I second guessed myself terribly. It wasn’t until the end of the summer that I could finally look back and see that if I hadn’t made that choice I wouldn’t have had the best summer of my life. I wouldn’t have gone to that camp, reconnected with the girl that is now my best friend, strengthened my religious faith, and met someone, yes a boy, who taught me to be grateful for what I have, to live only for things you are passionate about, and most importantly, to live with no regrets. It was that choice which I had once been so weighed down by that lead me to these life changing experiences. This ending was really just a new beginning and I didn’t need to regret one single part of it.

This is how I want to live for the rest of my life; free of regrets and sadness for the past. Before I die I want to be able to look back and smile. To see that every moment, every emotion, every choice made me the person I needed to be. Isn’t that really just being happy?

My Source of Inspiration...

Inspiration is the process of being mentally stimulated to do a task, especially to do something creative or good. One may be inspired by another human, or by a situation or object.

Inspiration is the winning step to destiny and in this way one performs the difficult and more complex tasks in an easier and fruitful manner.

When I look back at my life, I see that I have been inspired by different things at different times.

During my childhood days, I was quite fascinated by the various software and applications that had been coming up in those times. I was inspired to learn software development and it was my dream to develop a computer application or a game of my own. When I was in mid school, my inspiration was Mr. Bill Gates, founder of one of the biggest software giants, Microsoft. He, even though a dropout from school, went on to build a brand which formed an integral part of almost all computers for decades. Success story of Mr. Bill Gates gave direction to my life and my interest in computer science grew manifold.

As times change, our inspirations and role models also change.

Of late, I found my true inspiration in Mark Zuckerberg, the founder & CEO of social networking website Facebook. Basically, he is a computer programmer who began using computers and writing software in middle school. His father taught him basic programming in the 1990s.

Together with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students, Zuckerberg launched Facebook from Harvard's dormitory rooms on February 4, 2004. His personal wealth, as of July 2014, is estimated to be $33.1 billion.

I am amazed by abilities and accomplishments of Mark Zuckerberg. I get inspired by his leadership qualities and perseverance.

In 2007, at the age of 23, Zuckerberg became a billionaire as a result of Facebook's success. The number of Facebook users worldwide reached a total of one billion in 2012. In 2010, Time magazine named Zuckerberg among the 100 wealthiest and most influential people in the world as a part of its Person of the Year distinction.

It is a known fact that one needs to find inspiration to do something creative. It is my goal to be a proficient Computer Programmer and Developer.

This is why, I draw my inspiration from the success story of Mark Zuckerberg, who began writing code for web sites at early age. Now, as a student of Computer Science in IIT Roorkee, I am on my way to fulfilling my dream of becoming a proficient software developer.

He Made Me Think Bigger... My Inspiration

“I WIN...THAT'S WHAT I DO"

Whenever I hear these words, it immediately reminds me of my inspiration, a person whom I admire the most. Everyone in life needs to have an inspiration in order to be one. It might be a legend’s life, Mother Nature, one’s parents, a friend....in short anything and everything under the sun can be perceived as an inspiration and I am no different to have one. Interestingly, unlike others, my inspiration is a work of fiction. This is not out of fascination but appreciation and admiration.

Let me introduce him to you. His name is ‘Harvey Reginald Specter’ popularly known as ‘The Harvey Specter’ synonymous with ‘The best closer in New York’.  He is a corporate lawyer and a senior patner from the fictional law firm of New York-‘Pearson Hardman’ in the critically acclaimed law drama on the USA network-Suits. The wonderful character is created by Aaron Korsch and is aptly played by Gabriel Macht.

Harvey is known for his lavish yet balanced lifestyle. His winning  mentality along with witty responses and corporate brilliance allows no one to level up to him. Though his personality might appear quite  idealistic in today’s world but he is yet another shark in a pool of sharks; it’s just that his vision is not only about hunting. In ‘Suits’, almost everyone possesses a-“I wanna win attitude”, which makes the show smart, thrilling and more than entertaining. But its Harvey’s over the top ‘unrelenting competitive attitude’,  that knocks down all others. 

The above description was quite superficial. Now let’s dig a bit deeper to understand this magnanimous character till its core. And for this I’ll be mentioning few of his life’s ideologies and his fantastic dialogues that leave the viewers speechless.

The foremost thing that I respect about him is his take on life. At every instance, he cares about his life as if it is his beloved wife. He maintains a dynamic aura around him and earns everyone’s respect merely by walking his talk. He confidently says, “I don’t have dreams, I have goals.”

As I am a literature lover, more appropriately an admirer, I like  people who know how to craft people just by their command. And this character, just tops the table. While he is an effective manipulator, he even masters the art of reading people which is very much visible when he is working on a case. He believes, “Learn to predict what others are going to do before they actually do it. You always have to be way ahead, if you desire to win”. He beautifully perceives life as a game of chess where you have to be sure of your future ten moves.

“Play the man. Not the odds.” It is a smart one liner, but its meaning is even deeper. While saying this Harvey means every Tom, Dick and Harry can play the odds. But when someone takes 'The Road Not Taken' in times of crisis, he surely emerges out as a better player. Practically nothing comes on a silver platter in life, but if you go by Harvey’s ideology, ‘you can surely have it on one-just by serving it to you ’.

 “Never waste time trying to explain the problem, try to fix it” adding to this, he even suggests, “Be the part of the solution and not the problem”. Such ideologies should be the base for anyone to excel in any field.

It might sound strange but this man just loves, rather enjoys, pressure. “Diamond was yet another coal, which performed well under pressure.” Keeping cool in stressful situations, is one of his forte. Keeping your composure during difficult times allows others to have confidence in you. With this viewpoint, he tries to settle most of his cases outside the court, negotiating on good grounds. “Win your battles before they’re even been fought. Because if you don’t you certainly go to war.”Garnishing this he mentions,  “Be the exception to every rule and the moment you are done , set better ones”. This doesn't mean you go crazy and break every goddamn rule. But by following the rules every single time, you’re only letting your competition get ahead by being naive enough to believe that they won’t be doing the same. Exploit every resource, opportunity and thought to win the game, because if you don’t someone else will do it.

His mantra for success is –“Reach for the stars”. Learn from the best and eventually you’ll surpass them. This is what he instructs his associate-“Just because you’re a rookie, doesn't mean you have to think like one. Think like a child and you’ll be treated like one... Or think like a boss and you will be respected like one.” In simple words, never let your lack of experience hold you back. Harvey’s favorite one comes like this-“Don’t try to loose small, try to win big”. Be a risk taker based upon calculative amount of risk.

All these qualities are somewhat expected from him at this kind of workplace but Harvey shines well in his ethical scrutiny also. His stand on lying is just an eye-opener for many-“Lying for me doesn't protect me; it betrays me”. He hates perjury. He knows to what extent he has to exploit any relationship or emotion for his corporate gains. Sometimes he says-“I am against having emotions, but not using them.” On reading this you might have formed an opinion about this man that all he cares about is- winning. Well let me correct you- 'He is not against emotions. He just doesn't like to display them. Because their exhibition makes you weak and Harvey hates weaknesses'.

Harvey’s life comes around with a combo of practical learning. And not just social ones, but even those that will definitely enhance an individual’s personality. In spite having such a hectic life, he has his interests and hobbies outside work like boxing, playing poker, listening to vinyl while drinking Scotch, and watching movies.

Dear Reader, they say that the greatest things in this world happened in the mind and this very character teaches us to play from and with the mind. But wherever heart is required, give it its due honor.There's so much to learn from him. I might not have absorbed each one of the above qualities in my life but am trying my level best to be one and then surpass. Every tinge of his personality and every minute aspect of his life is captivating and worth incorporating in one’s life to the fullest. I hope after reading so much about this man you would surely Google about him.Go ahead you'll certainly enjoy a lot. But before I finish let me mention my favorite Harvey Specter quote that will be my show-stopper-

“The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.”

You cannot get Everything you want in life

                                             

Life has been meaning to teach this lesson to me for quite some time now.  It started with the JEE Advanced paper. Even at the end of the first paper, I knew that my hopes and expectations of going to IIT Bombay had evaporated, leaving behind just dry and crumbling despair. Nevertheless, I managed to write the second paper satisfactorily. Dropping out was not an option. I just had to come to terms with whatever result I got.

 It was difficult, but I numbed myself to all topics related to JEE and managed to manoeuvre myself through the "dark times". That too, without actually learning the above-mentioned lesson. Surely, it must be a glitch on God's side, I thought. Maybe I hadn't tried that hard. This won't happen the next time if I try harder. This attitude of mine got even a more solid ground to stand on, when I performed excellently in the BITSAT.

Unfortunately, Life hadn't given up yet. It was determined to teach me this lesson, no matter how much I tried to blind myself to it. The pessimist inside me tried to compare Roorkee with Bombay. The optimist burnt it to the ground, though only temporarily. Then came the Aditya Birla Scholarship. Excited, full of hope and confidence, five of us from Roorkee went to Bombay for the interviews. As you might have guessed from the context, I didn't get through. This was Life's second strike at my perception that the entire world would part and make way for me if I just tried hard enough. The third, and I feel that many of you will agree with me on that one, was the MTE results.

Now, after facing such disappointments, I have begun to acknowledge the fact that you cannot get everything you want in life. 

Even so, the optimist inside me is still standing. To not expect anything in life is a sin too, one that I am not willing to commit. If you don't try, then scratch everything, you won't even get anything.

Hence in my life, I have decided to expect, try my best, have faith but move on. I now live by the motto:

                               Though you can't get everything in life,

                                     Give Life everything in You!

               

HOW I LANDED IN IIT-R

"There is no decision that we can make that doesn't come with some sort of balance or sacrifice."

-Simon Sinek

It was the results time, the final outcome of my two year struggle. I always had aimed for studying in the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology. On the day of IIT-JEE, I couldn’t give my best and my performance wasn’t optimum. However, for the rank I scored, I was offered Electronics at IIT-R and Computer Science at IIIT-H. Even though Computer Science was a better course, I couldn’t give up my dream.

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

                                                                                                                                 -Theodore Roosevelt

 At this point of time I had two options, both equally favourable and equally good. The hardest part of all was that, I had to finalize the decision in two days. I kept constantly conflicting with myself and couldn’t reach to any conclusion. This dilemma not just diminished my other interests but also held my attention for a long time. It was the first time I had to take a life-changing decision, all by myself. Being from Hyderabad my parents also weren’t ready to send me this far from home. 

At this judgement point, I decided to go with IIT. It was the biggest risk I had ever taken and needed a lot of courage. I lost a very good branch in a good college but, it gave me immense satisfaction and a sigh of relief. After coming to IIT, I learnt how to live by myself without misusing my freedom. It was the first time I had got to see such a big North Indian circle, and it took time for me to adjust with them. Now I am happy for taking the right decision that gave an unexpected turn to my life.

I never repented on this decision, as I gained a lot more things being a part of IIT.

What makes you CRAZY?

ARE  YOU  SETTLING  IN ANDROMEDA?

Well, that must be a weird question for you. You might be thinking about those star trek episodes with monster space ships and 50th generation weapons.

Are you?

I don't know about others but this is the field of science fiction that inspires me. And yes, you have every right to declare me a crazy lad.

The point is that our Sun God is getting out of fuel, and we can't import it from its nearest neighbor        Mr. Proxima Centauri.

At some point of time in the future, it’s going to get extinguished leaving this ball of dirt, upon which we live, in complete darkness. And I don't want it to be the end of our story.

Ours a society, completely dependent on science and technology where we have immense possibilities of doing miracles with it.

I get inspiration from everything that is a part of our universe, from the small electrons to the gigantic galaxies with billions of mysteries hidden in them.

And technology coupled with science is perhaps the best tool to understand them.

Imagine that you have a Bucati Veyron spaceship, with top speed 0.98 light years per second, parked in the garage of your farm house on moon.

(For your kind information:-      I am not a disciple of Rajnikant!)

These are not mere fantasies. After achievement of globalization, the next mission is to achieve ’universalization’.

And there are brilliant minds around the globe working on this theme , among whom my favorite is   Dr. Stephen Hawking!

This guy has beaten his neurological disorder and all other physical limitations to emerge as one of the greatest minds of the century.

(Sorry! Rajnikant fans.)

Whenever I see a machine working, be it a supercomputer (on Youtube of course!) or a tiny watch, it adds to my craziness and catches my nerve.

I immediately start dreaming about the immense effort that we (creatures of blood and flesh) are putting to improve the quality of our life. And space exploration is definitely going to be another chapter in this history of human endeavor.

POSTED BY:-

SHARANPREET SINGH

ENROL. NO. -14114053

What I learned from a big disappointment - Do NOT Expect!

What I learned from a big disappointment

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed”

                     -         Alexander Pope

Do NOT Expect!

Well, I learnt that the hard way.

Expectations are difficult to live up to. It doesn’t hurt that hard when you expect something from somebody else, but when you are expecting something from yourself and you fail, it stings like hell. Expectations lead to hope and extinguishing hope leads to disappointment, which is hard to handle.

I have been practising the Korean martial art Taekwondo since the last 8 years and I hold a Black Belt. I will not boasting if I say that I AM good. One should know when they are actually good and when they are being overconfident. Ever since the first Taekwondo tournament that I participated in, I have won medals in every single competition, except one. That one tournament taught me the fact that one should never expect anything from anyone, especially from himself, rather just go with the flow.

I had always been good at Taekwondo. I used to train hard during the classes. When tournaments were round the corner, I would train harder even on days when there was no class. It’s just that when you take things for granted, they start falling apart.
It happened in the 24^th National Taekwondo Championship 2010. I had participated in two national championships before that and emerged as the gold-medallist both times. So, I was pretty much at the apogee of my career, and that is precisely when the devil strikes – when you are at your most vulnerable. It seemed that everything kept on coming to me the easy way, that I didn’t need to put that much effort to achieve them. I paid less attention during classes; my concentration started wavering during training. I didn't seem to notice the decline in my performance. 

But expectations don’t care about your attitude towards the task. They just depend on how you have been faring in the past, and I had a pretty good track record. So, everyone was expecting another successful championship, even me. But results don’t care about expectations; they consider the training and abilities. So, eventually, I ended up going down in the semi-finals, with a bruise on the left cheek and an internally bleeding finger. 

It’s not that I hadn’t got hurt before, but this time it hurt worse than ever. It was because of the losing factor, I guessed. I had lost to someone whom I had defeated three out of three times in our previous encounters, and losing to someone against whom you have a perfect record, that too because of poor preparation and overconfidence coupled with not being able to live up to expectations, is just too big a disppointment. 

My parents, teammates, even I was disappointed with myself. More importantly, my coach was disappointed. I could see it on everyone’s faces. I knew it was my own fault. I had sabotaged this tournament. I got the bronze medal as a consolation though, but even that didn’t seem right since there was no 3^rd-4^th place bout; both the losers in the semi-finals got the bronze. 

It was not just the losing part that pinched, but the fact that I had not been able to live up to the expectations. When you go in with full preparation, you have a chance at the top position. But even if you fail, you are still satisfied that at least you gave it your best shot; the other guy was just better than you. But when you go in like this - unprepared, overconfident – you are bound to eventually fail, maybe even to a rookie, and then handle the disappointment.

But I also knew that it was no use regretting what had already happened. I had to show everyone that I had still not lost my mojo; I just needed to train hard.

Again.

And so I did. Yes, it took some time, but I did bounce back. By the next nationals, I was ready. This tournament was important. Not only because it was the biggest tournament after the last disappointing one, but also because it was the 25^th National Taekwondo Championship – Silver Jubilee. Also, there was the silver lining of the treat that our coach had promised for anyone who won gold. I was confident, but still had some doubts as to whether I was ready or not. Eventually, I won the tournament (one of the bouts ended in a KO – I am really proud of that one).

So this way I learned that expectations are not good for anyone. One should not EXPECT anything from anyone; just do what they must without thinking about the end result. This keeps everyone from disappointments.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”

                     -         Bruce Lee

What I learned from a disappointment...

We all have those times when our expectations go right into the dustbin. Here I am sharing a big disappointment and what I learned from it. It is a bit long but you must give it a reading.

It was August of 2013 when I joined the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP). I was more of a passive member than an active one but I did try my best to help this people’s movement by giving monthly donations and participating in the online campaign. Last year when Narendra Modi kicked off his campaign with a speech at the Hindu college, I thought that this might be the man India needs right now. His excellent oratory skills and positive outlook towards the youth of India made me his fan and I cannot stress more on the word ‘fan’ here. I remember looking forward to watching him on TV feeding us with Congress bashing and glorified Bharat stuff. But then he became repetitive. I know that when you are giving 3 speeches a day you really can’t come up with new things to say every time and I do not blame him for this. I have seen politicians speak in their rallies and comparing him to say Mulayam Singh Yadav (MSY), he is better any day. MSY organises rallies with poor people who are paid little money to attend and clap frantically at his whim. I am not complaining about Narendra Modi’s repetitive speech. I am complaining about his repetitive presence on the TV, newspapers, magazines, electric poles where they put posters of obscure politicians and where not. I just struck to me that Narendra Modi has suddenly become omnipresent. A man I knew nothing of just a month ago is now the star of the country and I just can’t avoid getting stuffed with whatever he has to say! Where was he getting all this money from? Either he had looted Gujrat just like other politicos loot their respective state or he was being backed by some major money powers or both. I already had no faith in the pathetic Indian media and it was already licking dirt off this man’s boots. It is always the same story, they piss on us and the media tells us it’s raining. Then in November, Narendra Modi was scheduled to visit my city Meerut in Uttar Pradesh. The whole city was blasted with his persona everywhere. Buses and heck trains full of his ‘supporters’ were brought in from nearby villages and places as far as Bihar. This was the moment I grew insanely sick of his ways. His extensive marketing blew it off. His campaign was a flashy and a cheap one. It was no more for the country rather, it was against the congress and it did ring the bells with other Indians as for them, whatever was wrong with the country was because of the INC.

Here I would like to talk about the fellow Indian. Frankly the fellow Indian is utterly stupid. I am not saying that those who support Narendra Modi (Namo as some prefer to call him) are stupid, even I was his fanboy once. What I am implying is that we are stupid because what we do every single time. We are always downplayed by wicked people whose aim is never what it seems to be. The common man in our country is coward. This is my first hand experience speaking. We lack the courage to speak up. We love to just get flown with the wind (Modi ki hawa/lehar as it was publicised). The lehar is actually a symbol of our lack of logical thinking. And those who can think are just so afraid. No one has the guts to speak up. This is the result of a thousand years of slavery and oppression. The Indian man was just blown up the media (which astonishingly people trust so much). This is what we are taught in our school, our homes, our society.  Our societal structure is the one for crooks, there is absolutely no space for wise men. If you are wise and gentle, just get off the road or get mowed down by the mighty idiot behind you. But there is a wise man in every one of us (and an idiot also for that matter). The wise man wakes up once in a while only to sleep again. When Arvind Kejriwal and  Anna Hazare and others (the order in which I mention these names is of importance) started  the crusade for Jan-Lokpal bill, the wise man in us was beaming with courage. It is clear that the wise man needs appreciation to rise up and in this case it was provided by the seldom good Indian media. As the appreciation dies, the wise man in most goes to sleep and wakes up the idiot. Idiots therefore, we all are. A good example to this assertion can be seen in our classrooms. When we were kids and someone had to speak something in the class, many a times we asked others to do it for us. This behaviour is rather strange. We want others to rise up for us and when they rise up more than us we pull their leg. The wise man and the idiot always alternate with varying frequency. I believe that if an average Indian was given the chance to choose what encompasses his government, what he would describe is the government AAP fights for.

Coming back to politics, it was the time when AAP was little known. I was following Arvind Kejriwal’s and AAP’s facebook page sine they formed the party. They posted what they were doing in Delhi and although it was inspiring, honestly I did not believe that they can be a viable option. But then I began to take them seriously after some more observation. Arvind Kejriwal is no doubt a very wise man and an IITian too (because the point is of significance for an IIT aspirant politically observant student). I joined AAP with an initial donation of 100 rupees. Then I joined the IT cell where they released some content to post on various social networking sites every morning. I worked for the new political outfit for some time and in December of 2013, AAP won 28 seats in Delhi assembly elections!

All of a sudden people became very supportive everywhere on the social media. The Indian media went into frenzy only until Namo pulled them up. The Indian media as a whole went all guns against AAP. They just wanted to defame us in every possible way. Sample this, people from a MLA’s constituency approach him to stop a sex and drug racket run by illegal immigrants from African countries. There was even a letter addressed to the Delhi government by the government of Uganda urging to stop trafficking of the women of their country. The MLA goes to one of the accused’s home at night with policemen and all hell broke loose. The news should have been “Drug/Sex racket involving minors busted in Delhi” but unfortunately it was “AAP MLA makes mockery of foreign women’s modesty”. Then clips were shown where the AAP MLA was asking a policeman to go and arrest all those involved and the policeman was refusing to do so implying that, “Do not teach me my job”. Meanwhile the accused were busy hiding all the stuff they had. Numerous reports were on TV with ‘experts’ claiming that women can’t be arrested at night etc. True that, but there is also a Prevention of Drugs act that explicitly states that in case there is a report that such an activity is going on in some area, the police can investigate and arrest those involved even at night. This was never shown on any news channel. And when the case involved trafficking of minor girls, the Indian media could not have stooped so low. The AAP MLA became a local hero and a national villain just overnight. In another incident, a poor woman is burned to death by her family members and the police refused to register FIR. When the deceased’s family members approached an AAP MLA for help, she was obstructed to meet them. Apparently some policemen were also involved in the unfortunate incident. When the police commissioner of Delhi refused to take action against them, AAP decided to go on agitation. The Indian media ran headlines as “ Kejriwal’s New Drama”. The actual cause of agitation was never reported but all other crap was 24x7. Had the AAP not gone the agitation way, media would have run the headline “Kejri accused Cong for inaction, does nothing himself”. And the only thing he could do was agitation. At least he didn’t cry foul like Shiela Dixit. There were numerous examples like this where half truth was shown and rest gobbled up to force one particular view point : AAP sucks and should be shattered to pieces and Namo is the true saviour of the world, heck Universe. I believe that it was rather immature even if it was morally correct by AAP to give up the government in Delhi. And I admit that the actual reason for giving up the government was not that we were unable to pass the Jan-Lokpal bill in the assembly, rather it was that the government that was facing road blocks by political dogs everywhere and there wasn’t much it could do so there was no point in retaining the power if you can’t bring a change! The idea was that there would be re-elections soon and Delhi would vote AAP into majority. The elections haven’t taken place till this date. I would have done the same had I been in Arvind Kejriwal’s place.

Skip some time, we are in April-May 2014, the time for Indian general elections. The media (or Modia) made the fight Modi vs Rahul. People saw it as The Mighty Saviour vs The Incompetent Mumma’s Boy. AAP slipped into oblivion with extremely negative publicity mostly by external factors. I am not going to delve into what steps AAP took or what BJP took or what Congress took because it would take ten more pages to explain why I am still with AAP. Anyway, elections happened, we won. Yes we won! We were expecting 10-14 seats but got only 4. The actual analysis of the voting pattern is beyond the scope of this post but I can say that it is definitely encouraging. When BJP contested its first general elections, it won only 2 seats. I can go on and on criticizing the Indian media / Indian political system / politicians. I do not have a first-hand experience of knowing Narendra Modi as a person. But what I know is that the political party he is in is full of crooks and wicked people. Narendra Modi is not a good man by my standards. He is the prime minister of the country and certainly there are a lot better alternatives than him. I wanted India to get the actual good governance, not a rhetorical joke. I could not do anything about this.

I am so sick of all this politics and counter-politics. There were a lot of times when it became utterly annoying to fight BJP paid trolls online. All that energy spent could not achieve any long term goal. People of India have forgotten everything again and the same story continues, the wise man is back to sleep and the fool thrives again! This is my biggest disappointment.

If you stand up for your people, either you die a hero or you live long enough to become a villain. I have not seen many people that have courage as much Arvind Kejriwal has.

He is truly a brave man. And look how the country treated him. If I were to continue supporting AAP, whom am I fighting? The bad guys or the countrymen themselves? Or even worse, are these two sets equal? We have such a small span of  life, shouldn’t I spend that appreciating better things and keeping myself ignorant to whatever happens in the country. Isn’t that what most educated people do?

What I have learned from my biggest disappointment is that the answer to all these questions is a resounding NO.

WHAT IS YOUR AIM IN LIFE AND HOW DO YOU PLAN TO ACHIEVE IT

BEST DIRECTOR, FILMFARE 2020

Passion. It really is something isn’t it? It is this passion that drives a computer science engineer at IIT ROORKEE, to have “winning the best director award in filmfare” as his goal.

There are two types of goals, Short term and long term. Short term goals may come and go , but a long term goal is one that sticks with you forever.

Beginning from Class 8th, i had an inclination towards film making and editing. It was in class 10th i know what I’ll be doing with my life. Film making it was.

But sitting in your dorm room thinking about it is a different thing and achieving it is different.

Now in a country like India, I was expected to first get a decent degree and then do what I wanted with my life.

There was always a pressure from my parents to become an Engineer, get a white collar job and Film making ,it was never an option for them.

And so began the JEE preparation.

After two years of hard work, I am doing my computer science degree from IIT ROORKEE and pursuing my passion, hand in hand.

I joined the cinematics department as soon I reached IIT ROORKEE and compiled a freshman video as my first project. The gothic teaser of THOMSO 2014, came next which I regard as one of my best works.

To achieve my aim , there is still a long way to go. Film industry is one where you need a lot of contacts to fit in, so I began contacting people from this industry.

It began with the assistant director of THE VIRAL FEVER, following by its editor, from whom I keep taking advice on a regular basis.I was highly inspired by an alumni of IIT ROORKEE, a 2010 pass out from mechanical engineering, 'ANKIT TRIPATHI' , who is currently working under IMTIAZ ALI as an assistant director.

And four years from now,  I aim to change the face of CINESEC , IIT ROORKEE into a completely professional film making group.

I also joined the VJ group of THOMSO , to learn live shooting , to capture those spontaneous responses and it has been an amazing experience by far

I am regularly taking part in film making competitions and film festivals. I’ve made a short film recently, ADHOORI,which I’ll be sending to Mood Indigo this year ,which is considered one of the most tough film making competitions of the country.

And in this way , one step at a time , I think it'll be fair to say that slowly and steadily , I'm progressing towards my goal and who knows , a day might come when I'll smile towards my family from the stage , gracefully accepting the "BEST DIRECTOR AWARD".