What I learned from a disappointment...

We all have those times when our expectations go right into the dustbin. Here I am sharing a big disappointment and what I learned from it. It is a bit long but you must give it a reading.

It was August of 2013 when I joined the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP). I was more of a passive member than an active one but I did try my best to help this people’s movement by giving monthly donations and participating in the online campaign. Last year when Narendra Modi kicked off his campaign with a speech at the Hindu college, I thought that this might be the man India needs right now. His excellent oratory skills and positive outlook towards the youth of India made me his fan and I cannot stress more on the word ‘fan’ here. I remember looking forward to watching him on TV feeding us with Congress bashing and glorified Bharat stuff. But then he became repetitive. I know that when you are giving 3 speeches a day you really can’t come up with new things to say every time and I do not blame him for this. I have seen politicians speak in their rallies and comparing him to say Mulayam Singh Yadav (MSY), he is better any day. MSY organises rallies with poor people who are paid little money to attend and clap frantically at his whim. I am not complaining about Narendra Modi’s repetitive speech. I am complaining about his repetitive presence on the TV, newspapers, magazines, electric poles where they put posters of obscure politicians and where not. I just struck to me that Narendra Modi has suddenly become omnipresent. A man I knew nothing of just a month ago is now the star of the country and I just can’t avoid getting stuffed with whatever he has to say! Where was he getting all this money from? Either he had looted Gujrat just like other politicos loot their respective state or he was being backed by some major money powers or both. I already had no faith in the pathetic Indian media and it was already licking dirt off this man’s boots. It is always the same story, they piss on us and the media tells us it’s raining. Then in November, Narendra Modi was scheduled to visit my city Meerut in Uttar Pradesh. The whole city was blasted with his persona everywhere. Buses and heck trains full of his ‘supporters’ were brought in from nearby villages and places as far as Bihar. This was the moment I grew insanely sick of his ways. His extensive marketing blew it off. His campaign was a flashy and a cheap one. It was no more for the country rather, it was against the congress and it did ring the bells with other Indians as for them, whatever was wrong with the country was because of the INC.

Here I would like to talk about the fellow Indian. Frankly the fellow Indian is utterly stupid. I am not saying that those who support Narendra Modi (Namo as some prefer to call him) are stupid, even I was his fanboy once. What I am implying is that we are stupid because what we do every single time. We are always downplayed by wicked people whose aim is never what it seems to be. The common man in our country is coward. This is my first hand experience speaking. We lack the courage to speak up. We love to just get flown with the wind (Modi ki hawa/lehar as it was publicised). The lehar is actually a symbol of our lack of logical thinking. And those who can think are just so afraid. No one has the guts to speak up. This is the result of a thousand years of slavery and oppression. The Indian man was just blown up the media (which astonishingly people trust so much). This is what we are taught in our school, our homes, our society.  Our societal structure is the one for crooks, there is absolutely no space for wise men. If you are wise and gentle, just get off the road or get mowed down by the mighty idiot behind you. But there is a wise man in every one of us (and an idiot also for that matter). The wise man wakes up once in a while only to sleep again. When Arvind Kejriwal and  Anna Hazare and others (the order in which I mention these names is of importance) started  the crusade for Jan-Lokpal bill, the wise man in us was beaming with courage. It is clear that the wise man needs appreciation to rise up and in this case it was provided by the seldom good Indian media. As the appreciation dies, the wise man in most goes to sleep and wakes up the idiot. Idiots therefore, we all are. A good example to this assertion can be seen in our classrooms. When we were kids and someone had to speak something in the class, many a times we asked others to do it for us. This behaviour is rather strange. We want others to rise up for us and when they rise up more than us we pull their leg. The wise man and the idiot always alternate with varying frequency. I believe that if an average Indian was given the chance to choose what encompasses his government, what he would describe is the government AAP fights for.

Coming back to politics, it was the time when AAP was little known. I was following Arvind Kejriwal’s and AAP’s facebook page sine they formed the party. They posted what they were doing in Delhi and although it was inspiring, honestly I did not believe that they can be a viable option. But then I began to take them seriously after some more observation. Arvind Kejriwal is no doubt a very wise man and an IITian too (because the point is of significance for an IIT aspirant politically observant student). I joined AAP with an initial donation of 100 rupees. Then I joined the IT cell where they released some content to post on various social networking sites every morning. I worked for the new political outfit for some time and in December of 2013, AAP won 28 seats in Delhi assembly elections!

All of a sudden people became very supportive everywhere on the social media. The Indian media went into frenzy only until Namo pulled them up. The Indian media as a whole went all guns against AAP. They just wanted to defame us in every possible way. Sample this, people from a MLA’s constituency approach him to stop a sex and drug racket run by illegal immigrants from African countries. There was even a letter addressed to the Delhi government by the government of Uganda urging to stop trafficking of the women of their country. The MLA goes to one of the accused’s home at night with policemen and all hell broke loose. The news should have been “Drug/Sex racket involving minors busted in Delhi” but unfortunately it was “AAP MLA makes mockery of foreign women’s modesty”. Then clips were shown where the AAP MLA was asking a policeman to go and arrest all those involved and the policeman was refusing to do so implying that, “Do not teach me my job”. Meanwhile the accused were busy hiding all the stuff they had. Numerous reports were on TV with ‘experts’ claiming that women can’t be arrested at night etc. True that, but there is also a Prevention of Drugs act that explicitly states that in case there is a report that such an activity is going on in some area, the police can investigate and arrest those involved even at night. This was never shown on any news channel. And when the case involved trafficking of minor girls, the Indian media could not have stooped so low. The AAP MLA became a local hero and a national villain just overnight. In another incident, a poor woman is burned to death by her family members and the police refused to register FIR. When the deceased’s family members approached an AAP MLA for help, she was obstructed to meet them. Apparently some policemen were also involved in the unfortunate incident. When the police commissioner of Delhi refused to take action against them, AAP decided to go on agitation. The Indian media ran headlines as “ Kejriwal’s New Drama”. The actual cause of agitation was never reported but all other crap was 24x7. Had the AAP not gone the agitation way, media would have run the headline “Kejri accused Cong for inaction, does nothing himself”. And the only thing he could do was agitation. At least he didn’t cry foul like Shiela Dixit. There were numerous examples like this where half truth was shown and rest gobbled up to force one particular view point : AAP sucks and should be shattered to pieces and Namo is the true saviour of the world, heck Universe. I believe that it was rather immature even if it was morally correct by AAP to give up the government in Delhi. And I admit that the actual reason for giving up the government was not that we were unable to pass the Jan-Lokpal bill in the assembly, rather it was that the government that was facing road blocks by political dogs everywhere and there wasn’t much it could do so there was no point in retaining the power if you can’t bring a change! The idea was that there would be re-elections soon and Delhi would vote AAP into majority. The elections haven’t taken place till this date. I would have done the same had I been in Arvind Kejriwal’s place.

Skip some time, we are in April-May 2014, the time for Indian general elections. The media (or Modia) made the fight Modi vs Rahul. People saw it as The Mighty Saviour vs The Incompetent Mumma’s Boy. AAP slipped into oblivion with extremely negative publicity mostly by external factors. I am not going to delve into what steps AAP took or what BJP took or what Congress took because it would take ten more pages to explain why I am still with AAP. Anyway, elections happened, we won. Yes we won! We were expecting 10-14 seats but got only 4. The actual analysis of the voting pattern is beyond the scope of this post but I can say that it is definitely encouraging. When BJP contested its first general elections, it won only 2 seats. I can go on and on criticizing the Indian media / Indian political system / politicians. I do not have a first-hand experience of knowing Narendra Modi as a person. But what I know is that the political party he is in is full of crooks and wicked people. Narendra Modi is not a good man by my standards. He is the prime minister of the country and certainly there are a lot better alternatives than him. I wanted India to get the actual good governance, not a rhetorical joke. I could not do anything about this.

I am so sick of all this politics and counter-politics. There were a lot of times when it became utterly annoying to fight BJP paid trolls online. All that energy spent could not achieve any long term goal. People of India have forgotten everything again and the same story continues, the wise man is back to sleep and the fool thrives again! This is my biggest disappointment.

If you stand up for your people, either you die a hero or you live long enough to become a villain. I have not seen many people that have courage as much Arvind Kejriwal has.

He is truly a brave man. And look how the country treated him. If I were to continue supporting AAP, whom am I fighting? The bad guys or the countrymen themselves? Or even worse, are these two sets equal? We have such a small span of  life, shouldn’t I spend that appreciating better things and keeping myself ignorant to whatever happens in the country. Isn’t that what most educated people do?

What I have learned from my biggest disappointment is that the answer to all these questions is a resounding NO.

WHAT IS YOUR AIM IN LIFE AND HOW DO YOU PLAN TO ACHIEVE IT

BEST DIRECTOR, FILMFARE 2020

Passion. It really is something isn’t it? It is this passion that drives a computer science engineer at IIT ROORKEE, to have “winning the best director award in filmfare” as his goal.

There are two types of goals, Short term and long term. Short term goals may come and go , but a long term goal is one that sticks with you forever.

Beginning from Class 8th, i had an inclination towards film making and editing. It was in class 10th i know what I’ll be doing with my life. Film making it was.

But sitting in your dorm room thinking about it is a different thing and achieving it is different.

Now in a country like India, I was expected to first get a decent degree and then do what I wanted with my life.

There was always a pressure from my parents to become an Engineer, get a white collar job and Film making ,it was never an option for them.

And so began the JEE preparation.

After two years of hard work, I am doing my computer science degree from IIT ROORKEE and pursuing my passion, hand in hand.

I joined the cinematics department as soon I reached IIT ROORKEE and compiled a freshman video as my first project. The gothic teaser of THOMSO 2014, came next which I regard as one of my best works.

To achieve my aim , there is still a long way to go. Film industry is one where you need a lot of contacts to fit in, so I began contacting people from this industry.

It began with the assistant director of THE VIRAL FEVER, following by its editor, from whom I keep taking advice on a regular basis.I was highly inspired by an alumni of IIT ROORKEE, a 2010 pass out from mechanical engineering, 'ANKIT TRIPATHI' , who is currently working under IMTIAZ ALI as an assistant director.

And four years from now,  I aim to change the face of CINESEC , IIT ROORKEE into a completely professional film making group.

I also joined the VJ group of THOMSO , to learn live shooting , to capture those spontaneous responses and it has been an amazing experience by far

I am regularly taking part in film making competitions and film festivals. I’ve made a short film recently, ADHOORI,which I’ll be sending to Mood Indigo this year ,which is considered one of the most tough film making competitions of the country.

And in this way , one step at a time , I think it'll be fair to say that slowly and steadily , I'm progressing towards my goal and who knows , a day might come when I'll smile towards my family from the stage , gracefully accepting the "BEST DIRECTOR AWARD".

My mistakes my inspiration, But what keeps me moving- My aspiration

                                       "He who learns but does not think, is lost!                                       He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger."

Confucius

The more knowledge one have, the more he realise that he knows nothing. And one thing is for sure, one loses his path to success from the moment he loses his aspiration to gain knowledge. Or he just deviates his focus from what he was aiming for. In his unconscious mind there are still those goals that are important for him to achieve but his actions do not complement his wishes. He is thinking about his mistakes and his goals but is physically idle, or he uses his time in things that are not important to him. So, what one requires in life is ASPIRATION.

          Aspiration keeps us alive.
          Aspiration inspires.
          Inspiration releases all possible energy.
          Energy employs us to direct and organize it before results are arrived at.
          Aspiration for intense employment of energy creates athletic games.
          Emotions aspiring for light of self-awareness has created thought and science.
          Aspiration of one who can grow vertically leads to horizontal growth. 

That is, aspiration will give you direction in life, and inspire you to work. But in order to achieve success, aspiration needs to be complemented by actions and good judgements. And doing actions to achieve his goal, requires a person to try new things & this means you are going make mistakes, something we all fear to do.

Is making mistakes really all that bad? Can we demystify our fear of failure?
Maybe, Einstein can tell us something about mistakes.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” 

Albert Einstein

One can only learn from a mistake after he admit he has made it. As soon as he start blaming other people (or the universe itself) that person distance himself from any possible lesson. But if one courageously stand up and honestly say “This is my mistake and I am responsible” the possibilities for learning will move towards him.

Good or bad, experiences are what help us learn lessons and form a better sense of judgment. Bad judgment seems to stick with us longer as a lesson learned because we really do not want to keep repeating it. Wisdom is the knowledge we can gain from making mistakes.

“Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgement.”

Admission of a mistake, even if only privately to oneself, makes learning possible by moving the focus away from blame assignment and towards understanding. Wise people admit their mistakes easily. They know progress accelerates when they do.

“Well, we all make mistakes, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.”

Growth starts as soon as we recognize our mistake and how to prevent it from happening again. Everyone makes mistakes in life, this is normal, but how one learn from them is how he develop his judgment. The only way to prevent making a mistake a second time is to learn. If you don’t, you will be making that same error again and again until you are forced to learn.

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.”

By taking the time to stop and appreciate who one is and what he has achieved - and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses - one actually can enhance everything about oneself. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give us the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.

So, I try to learn from my mistakes which I made, and my aspiration is to gain knowledge,an aspiration for learning, keeping in mind that just having knowledge without its application does not worth my time. I totally agree with Jiddu Krishnamurti's statement about education and learning.

"There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning." 

Jiddu Krishnamurti

WHAT I LEARNED FROM A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT

I think that we get disappointed from something when we expect a lot from that particular thing.I learned this only after doing the same...expecting too much from something...and being disappointed when it was not up to my expectations.

Before joining IIT neither i had been to any one of them nor any one from my family had been . So all that i knew about IIT was that IITs are the best technical institutes in India . They really are the best institutes...in terms of both facilities and faculties...but they are the best when compared to other institutes only.

I did not know this then and attached many expectations with IITs . Luckily I got the chance to study in one of these premiere institutes . I joined the institute with great excitement.But the very first impression that the institute had on me was DISAPPOINTMENT . 

There was not only a single thing of disappointment,there were many things which disappointed me.The beginning of this series of disappointments was from my first visit to my hostel room.In the room Floor and  Almirah were covered by colonies of termites .That was very disgusting to see mud scales everywhere .

That was followed by disastrous condition of Bathrooms . There was a single water cooler on my floor and that too fairly far from my room ,this was again a unexpected situation. But the most irritating of all these was the quality of mess food . For the first few days it was almost impossible to swallow the food.

But now I am slowly and slowly recovering from disappointment and trying to adjust to the situation.

After all it is a government institute and I am trying to content myself by the fact that it could not be better than this and above all I have come here to learn.

     

                          Lesson that I learned from this disappointment was:

"Don't expect too much from anything so that it may disappoint you and be strong enough to adjust in unexpected conditions."