The Road Not Taken

I can still vividly recall the night of January 8^th, 2012. My 10th Preboard exams were going on and I was sitting in my room preparing for the next day’s exam. My mom’s cell phone rang. Something in my heart told me that it was the same call I was waiting for.

That morning, as I was moving out of my examination hall, some of my friends came to me and asked if I had checked my results of ANTHE, a scholarship exam from Aakash Institute for coaching. I hadn’t checked my results. One of my friends was selected for the scholarship. Even when I came home, I did not check my results. It was not intentional, but something in my subconscious mind was stopping me from checking the result.

I knew that if I was to take up that scholarship, then I had to leave my house and move to Bhubaneswar. In the back of my mind, I had a vague desire to go to Bhubaneswar for my coaching. It had many successful coaching institution and good schools for senior secondary. My home town did have something to offer, but not as good as over there. I didn’t discuss this with my parents because I was not sure of my desire. There was also the ‘uncertain future’ factor which was hunting me. But I was looking forward to get this scholarship, since this will bring forth the matter to be faced directly.

That call was exactly what I was waiting for…

When my mom picked up the call, they asked for me. When I took the call, they informed me that I had been selected for the scholarship and I had to register, at the Bhubaneswar center, before 30^th. After that call, the subconscious conflict of whether or not to move to Bhubaneswar came to my conscious thought.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then I discussed this with my parents, my teacher, my brother and my friends. My parents told me that they would support whatever decision I took. My brother, who had lived in Bhubaneswar for his Senior Secondary and who had taken coaching at Aakash Institute for medical science, strongly opposed this. His experience was, that Bhubaneswar was a big city and students from other places get easily ruined over there. If I moved to Bhubaneswar, I would have to stay at Aakash hostel, which according to my brother, was completely spoiled, and hardly any good students, stay over there. Then my teachers advised me to move on to Bhubaneswar, as it has a high success rate and good level of competition. This tussle went on in my mind for the whole January month.

Up till 23^rd or 24^th of that month, I was undecided on the matter. Then I decided not to move. But on 28^th, I had gone to my Math Teacher’s house with some of my friends. He was an excellent teacher with very good experience. He asked us, me and the other friend who was selected, of our decision.  My other friend had backed out due to poor hostel conditions, he had learnt that food over there was very bad and living conditions are not too good. I also informed sir of my decision. He was very annoyed hearing this. He gave a lecture on how spoon-fed our generation is, and how no one wants to take risks. Then he went on to say, how we are not willing to leave our houses now and what would we do it when we have to go to any college. He pointed out how hesitant are we to handle stress and how shall we handle much greater stress when we are grown up. All these had a deep and profound impact on me and stirred me from within. How can I turn my back to challenges?? If nothing ever changed then there would have been no butterflies!! My only strong pretext of not moving to Bhubaneswar was the uncertainty of future. But how was future safe if I stayed back in Berhampur? Only my present will be safe, not my future!!

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

That day I went to my mom and told her of my decision. Then she called my dad and asked him to come home. The next Monday I got admitted.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

Now when I stand here almost two and half year latter and look back to those times, they appear to be so … I can’t find any word to express my feelings. The time I spent in Bhubaneswar, the race for JEE and the busy world over there… There all form a different path. The road I choose to tread on. And if I imagine treading on the path left behind, staying back… I can’t guess what life then would have been, where I would had been now. May be in an altogether different place. May be I wouldn’t have been writing this blog now. Who knows? Nobody can tell how much I gained or what I lost.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Even if we try to judge by the experience of our other friends, then we will definitely go wrong. Each person has different experience in past and each person has different response to present situation.  Our decision at present change our future for ever. We don’t know the future. When we are presented with choice, we can step forward only one path, with hands on our hilt and our escutcheon within our reach to face anything that comes our way. The way which is left behind is left for ever. Life hardly gives us any chance to change our track.